I am engaged to the most wonderful girl a guy could hope for. Not only am I getting married, but I am getting married to my Best Friend. I know many of you are like, "yea I would hope she is your best friend." or "Yea my husband is my best friend too." but it is not like we just started dating and became friends as a result. We were best friends for a while before we started dating. There is no one that I would rather spend eternity with than her.
As I have been engaged I am learning that there are a lot of misconceptions about being engaged. Some of them are mine, and some of them are others. I will address some of both.
1. It is all fun and exciting. (mine)
Yes this is true to some extent, but they forget to let you know about all of the stresses that can be involved in planning to get married. Like where will you live, mixing finances, parents, picking a day that makes everyone happy, where to register (that one at times is really a lot of fun though), and the fact that everyone and their dog has an opinion about how you should do it. When on Earth will we get the time to do everything, now that we have moved up our Wedding a month and a half almost. There are others but I will stop there. The point is, there is a lot to get done, and for LDS people we tend to get married kind of fast, so that means that it needs to be done in a very short amount of time.
2. You are different and you don't want to spend time with us anymore. (what others say)
This one is more of a misunderstanding than anything. Allow me to paint a picture of my life. I work out of town 4 hours away for almost half of the month. So, 15 to 20 days a months I am gone, not here, can't be seen. Let me tell ya, when you are engaged it sucks to be gone like that. But alas that is life, and that is how I bring home money, so it must be done.
As a byproduct of this, when I get home I have three things I want to do above all else:
1. Spend time with my fiancee whom I have just spent days apart from.
2. Plan our wedding and two out of state receptions.
3. Wash my clothes from the week.
4. Yea I know I said three but here is a fourth, I often have work to do still when I am home.
Some people complain that I don't have time for them, or that I don't do anything fun anymore. Maybe I don't have time for some other people, but trust me I have plenty of fun. Some people have recently become quite frustrated that I don't ever do anything anymore, and that all I think about is my wedding, or people say that I have changed, and that I don't care about my friends anymore. Well let me clear all of that up for you.
I am about to be married, which means I am about to have a wife. Included in marriage is giving up single life. And I couldn't be happier to leave it.
I also want to clear up something else as well.
I never want to hear anyone blame my soon to be wife for me not doing something. If I don't do something it is because I chose to not do so, and not because she made me. Because it is time for me to grow up just a little bit more, and prioritize all of my life. She is not a controlling person that dictates what I can and cannot do. In fact she is exactly the opposite. However we do talk to each other about EVERYTHING. If I am going to go grocery shopping I tell her. Not because I have to, but because we are 100% involved in each others lives and we want to, and very soon our lives will become just that, OURS, combined forever.
I love this girl more than anything in the whole world. I know that this may seem odd to some people but, I would rather spend time with her than doing anything else. Period. She wins 100% of the time. Why? Because I love her, and I want to be with her. Not because she makes me do it. She never makes me choose, she just lets me make my own choices, and she knows that I will choose her all the time.
Is is not acceptable for someone to talk negative about my soon to be wife in any form. I will not stand for it, and I will not associate with anyone that does so. I will not associate with someone that does not like my soon to be wife. (think about that, if I did, what kind of message does that send to her if I do?) It is not appropriate to talk negative about me making the most important choice of my life, and also the happiest moment of my life. Guys, I am about to be sealed to my best friend whom I love more than anything, for all time and all eternity. That is such a wonderful thing. Some of you may not even comprehend how great that is. And the last thing is, it is not ok to think that I will do something without her, or at least without consulting her. I just will not do so, period. I will not go hang out with girls without her there, even if they are married or there are guys there. It is just NOT appropriate to do so, plain and simple. So if there are girls at all, and she is not with me. I am not going, sorry.
I am not going to be one of those husbands that talks bad about my wife or complains about my marriage while I am not with her. If I have a problem you all can promise that I will not talk to you about it. Not even my parents will hear about it. So don't ask, and don't try to get me to talk negative. If I have a problem I will talk to her, and vise versa.
To some of you that all makes sense, and to some of you that may not. The point is, I hope that one day all of you feel this way about someone very special. I hope that one day everyone that reads this blog will realize that they have someone extremely special in their life, and or that you will one day have someone and that you should always treat that person right. Also I hope that you'll realize that what I am saying is right.
Love you all and I hope everyone is doing well. I am sad that I don't have the time to spend with everyone that I used to, but a new phase in my life is beginning, and I have a lot on my plate right now. I wish that I could make everyone, and everything a priority, but there is one person that will not be shortchanged when it comes to my time, energy, attention, and devotion, and that is The Girl, so as mentioned before, she wins. All the time!
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Friday, April 25, 2008
Friday, October 26, 2007
Life is like unto a game of golf
It is early Saturday morning. As you inhale slowly taking in the cool morning air, you can smell the faint smell of the moist grass, and the wonderful smells of early morning. It is just starting to get light, and you can feel the cool breeze. You’re still a little cold, but you know that soon you will be warm, with sunglasses on enjoying the sunshine. It is the perfect time of day. Peace, quite, still, relaxing, these are just some of the words that one can use to describe the feeling felt at the tee box of the first hole.
You reach down to place your ball on the tee. Trying to get it to the perfect height to perch your golf ball on. Once set you place your ball on top making sure to line up the line you drew on your ball with the distant flag. You back up and stand behind your work, and stare down the fairway at the large patch of green off in the distance. You stand and ponder your plan off attack. Do you go for the green or do you just lay it up in the fairway leaving yourself a good safe second shot? Just a couple of the many questions you ask yourself before you take your first shot of the day.
After a few moments of contemplation you’re ready for your shot. You take your place next to the ball with your club in your gloved hand. You line up for the shot and in the very brief moment before you begin to swing the club back you take into account the slight change in wind and recheck your grip. Once this is done it is time, you begin to swing back and you feel your left shoulder slightly push against your chin letting you know you have gone back far enough, a momentary pause and then you release. Feeling calm and loose you swing your club forward, and as you strike the ball with a very satisfying metallic sounding pop you continue with your follow-through allowing your right shoulder to push your chin to the left, your body following along to watch the ball almost effortlessly fly towards the green. You stop, you don’t move for some reason, it is almost as if you do you just might alter the path of the ball.
Once the ball has landed you allow yourself to drop your club and relax your stance, squaring yourself with the far off green. Your choice to go for green has paid off. You did not quite make it, but instead your ball in a cool 20 yards to the front left of the pin. An easy chip you think to yourself. Your heart beats slightly faster as you consider the fact that you have the potential to open the day up with a birdie. You whisper to yourself “I love golf” as you slowly walk off the tee box to your bag to replace your driver to it’s proper location. And allow your friend to take their shot.
There are few other games like golf. It is something that once you play you either think to yourself “eh it is ok but not that fun” or you just simply can not stop thinking about it. There are many wonderful things about this great game of golf. Now I am not going to try to convince you that you need to start playing golf, although I would be happy if you did, I am just going to compare some similarities, or parallels between golf and life.
IN life we are all to often presented with choices that we need to make. Some of them are simple and others are not so simple. Some of them we have made before and others we might have to try something a little more risky to make it work. In golf it is fairly similar. We often times hit the ball in a similar place as before, but at other times we may do much better or far worse, landing you in the trees to the right of the green, or even worse right behind a tree. What do you do? Do you go around, what about trying to thread the needle and go between two trees? What about when you hit the ball into the water? It is worth it too you to go in after it? Or do you just let it go and take the 2-stroke penalty? Ahh the joy of making choices.
You may be playing an average game of golf one day. Something that is not very memorable. You will probably forget about it in a month, but then on the 11th hole you strike a ball off of the tee and it lands 5 feet from the hole, or you sink a chip from 30 yards out. All of a sudden all of the tough things that you have gone through don’t seem to matter, because that one shot makes the whole day worth it. In life it is the same, we may go though a lot of crap, but when you get the one great shot it was all worth it to get there.
In reality life just like golf is not that complicated. The method to fixing problems is typically the same; just the terrain has changed from last time. You may change from a 7 iron to a 6 iron, however you still know what to do. When you overcomplicate it you just make it worse, and when you stress about the next shot you make it worse. Just make the shot and you will do fine. So what you land in the sand, life will move on and you will be fine. You may not get the 8 over par day you hoped for, but it is the joy in playing the game that matters, not the score. However it sure is great when you get that score you were hoping for. But you will get it. It may take some time. You may have some bad games, but you must. It is part of the process of getting better and better every day.
Is it really that simple? Is it really that similar? I think so. You may or may not see what I am talking about. I am vague by design, remember do what we all so best. Think.
You reach down to place your ball on the tee. Trying to get it to the perfect height to perch your golf ball on. Once set you place your ball on top making sure to line up the line you drew on your ball with the distant flag. You back up and stand behind your work, and stare down the fairway at the large patch of green off in the distance. You stand and ponder your plan off attack. Do you go for the green or do you just lay it up in the fairway leaving yourself a good safe second shot? Just a couple of the many questions you ask yourself before you take your first shot of the day.
After a few moments of contemplation you’re ready for your shot. You take your place next to the ball with your club in your gloved hand. You line up for the shot and in the very brief moment before you begin to swing the club back you take into account the slight change in wind and recheck your grip. Once this is done it is time, you begin to swing back and you feel your left shoulder slightly push against your chin letting you know you have gone back far enough, a momentary pause and then you release. Feeling calm and loose you swing your club forward, and as you strike the ball with a very satisfying metallic sounding pop you continue with your follow-through allowing your right shoulder to push your chin to the left, your body following along to watch the ball almost effortlessly fly towards the green. You stop, you don’t move for some reason, it is almost as if you do you just might alter the path of the ball.
Once the ball has landed you allow yourself to drop your club and relax your stance, squaring yourself with the far off green. Your choice to go for green has paid off. You did not quite make it, but instead your ball in a cool 20 yards to the front left of the pin. An easy chip you think to yourself. Your heart beats slightly faster as you consider the fact that you have the potential to open the day up with a birdie. You whisper to yourself “I love golf” as you slowly walk off the tee box to your bag to replace your driver to it’s proper location. And allow your friend to take their shot.
There are few other games like golf. It is something that once you play you either think to yourself “eh it is ok but not that fun” or you just simply can not stop thinking about it. There are many wonderful things about this great game of golf. Now I am not going to try to convince you that you need to start playing golf, although I would be happy if you did, I am just going to compare some similarities, or parallels between golf and life.
IN life we are all to often presented with choices that we need to make. Some of them are simple and others are not so simple. Some of them we have made before and others we might have to try something a little more risky to make it work. In golf it is fairly similar. We often times hit the ball in a similar place as before, but at other times we may do much better or far worse, landing you in the trees to the right of the green, or even worse right behind a tree. What do you do? Do you go around, what about trying to thread the needle and go between two trees? What about when you hit the ball into the water? It is worth it too you to go in after it? Or do you just let it go and take the 2-stroke penalty? Ahh the joy of making choices.
You may be playing an average game of golf one day. Something that is not very memorable. You will probably forget about it in a month, but then on the 11th hole you strike a ball off of the tee and it lands 5 feet from the hole, or you sink a chip from 30 yards out. All of a sudden all of the tough things that you have gone through don’t seem to matter, because that one shot makes the whole day worth it. In life it is the same, we may go though a lot of crap, but when you get the one great shot it was all worth it to get there.
In reality life just like golf is not that complicated. The method to fixing problems is typically the same; just the terrain has changed from last time. You may change from a 7 iron to a 6 iron, however you still know what to do. When you overcomplicate it you just make it worse, and when you stress about the next shot you make it worse. Just make the shot and you will do fine. So what you land in the sand, life will move on and you will be fine. You may not get the 8 over par day you hoped for, but it is the joy in playing the game that matters, not the score. However it sure is great when you get that score you were hoping for. But you will get it. It may take some time. You may have some bad games, but you must. It is part of the process of getting better and better every day.
Is it really that simple? Is it really that similar? I think so. You may or may not see what I am talking about. I am vague by design, remember do what we all so best. Think.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
I wish I knew everything. . .
You know I wish that I knew everything. yea no I don't that would kind of suck. There would be great aspects of it for sure, but at the same time it would take the spice of life out.
I am talking mostly about know what will happen after we make choices. What is on the other side of that equals sign. There have been many times in the last while that I have had to make a choice about different things, and at the time I sure would have liked to know what was going to happen as a result of it.
Well life does not allow for that to be the case, we must make choices and learn for ourselves what will happen. Now most of you may think that i am crazy, and wondering why I would not want to know what is going to happen next. There is a reason for this though process. Allow me to elaborate on this.
When I make a choice and it turns out good or bad, it does not really matter which, and it comes time to make that choice again I know what I am going to do, or what I am not going to do. Some times I don't get it the first time or the next 8 times, but sure as rain i'll get it one day. And that is the fun part, when you come to a choice and it is a repeat and you know how to handle it. That knowladge is yours, and you learned it good o'le fashoned way. The school of hard knocks, a place where the teachers are . . . .rough.
Like it also teaches us to takes risks, which can be quite fun and enjoyable, and other times it can be painful, but all in all the journy is allways worth it I guess. I like the learning what choices to make, even though sometimes when I am in the thick of it I lose perspective, as it is so easy to do.
There are no great life changing choices that I am going to have to make here in the next month (at least that I am aware of) nor in the last little bit, otherwise I could give a good example perhaps somthing shall come up and I can give an example of how I don't have a clue what to do.
Is it really better to know what will happen? or Is it really better to learn for yourself? I leave that up to you to decide for yourself.
I am talking mostly about know what will happen after we make choices. What is on the other side of that equals sign. There have been many times in the last while that I have had to make a choice about different things, and at the time I sure would have liked to know what was going to happen as a result of it.
Well life does not allow for that to be the case, we must make choices and learn for ourselves what will happen. Now most of you may think that i am crazy, and wondering why I would not want to know what is going to happen next. There is a reason for this though process. Allow me to elaborate on this.
When I make a choice and it turns out good or bad, it does not really matter which, and it comes time to make that choice again I know what I am going to do, or what I am not going to do. Some times I don't get it the first time or the next 8 times, but sure as rain i'll get it one day. And that is the fun part, when you come to a choice and it is a repeat and you know how to handle it. That knowladge is yours, and you learned it good o'le fashoned way. The school of hard knocks, a place where the teachers are . . . .rough.
Like it also teaches us to takes risks, which can be quite fun and enjoyable, and other times it can be painful, but all in all the journy is allways worth it I guess. I like the learning what choices to make, even though sometimes when I am in the thick of it I lose perspective, as it is so easy to do.
There are no great life changing choices that I am going to have to make here in the next month (at least that I am aware of) nor in the last little bit, otherwise I could give a good example perhaps somthing shall come up and I can give an example of how I don't have a clue what to do.
Is it really better to know what will happen? or Is it really better to learn for yourself? I leave that up to you to decide for yourself.
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